Aku Bukan Orang Vietnam

“Hello Miss, Are you Vietnamese or Malaysian?”
That was the first thing the guy next to me said when I boarded the plane. Geez… Is that supposed to be a compliment? Do I have this exotic Vietnam look. Haha.
Ok, Malaysian don’t really know Malaysian that well.

But get this, upon arrival, at the immigration counter to get my passport stamped, the officer started talking confidently in this strange language. And the only thing I can say is, “I’m not Vietnamese. Sorry”, with that cheeky smile. He smile back, obviously embarrassed.

I guess I get that a lot during my 1 and 1/2 day stay. It’s good though, because I can just blend in with the crowd (except for the clearly different fashion statement).

Vietnam is a nice city, and I was already imagining myself working there one day. The things are cheap and the people are all warm and friendly. Motorbikes are everywhere in sight, but it is not too crowded. But, I wouldn’t imagine myself driving there, ever.

I thought about walking by myself in the city, plain sightseeing. But these people in motorbikes keep bugging me to let them show me around. “Miss, 50 thousand Dong for one hour. I can bring you to the museum, the Chinatown, etc2…..” I smile and walk away, up to a point where I felt suffocated and decided to call Shah’s wife. Luckily they were somewhere around the place. She picked me up and we went shopping in Bentan, a famous tourist market. Got myself this silk top, and a bangle for my mom. It was already late, and the driver had to go pick up those who played golf, a 45 minutes away from the city. I end up lepak-king at their apartment, having instant noodles and watching teen hilarious flick, John Tucker Must Die.

Bestnya jalan2. I wish I can go travel the world, and discover the culture of other countries. Wouldn’t life be more interesting then for me.

The next day was the boring meeting, which I tried so much to stay awake. I know I’ll be asked about it later. The whole time I keep telling myself, Be awake Su, wake up! Ding dong!

I wish I could have stayed longer, but I know for a fact that my boss was quite reluctant to let me go in the first place. So, off I go catching that evening flight back, alone. Yeah, occasionally people come to approach me, and speak Vietnamese. I was seated to this old lady in the 80’s who couldn’t speak any English. Very much a disaster, but she was nice. We had sign languages flying around, and I taught her few tricks also. Haha. I guess it was her first time taking flight.

The weird thing is, there were a few of the stewards who started making conversations with me. We started chatting like old pals. This guy, whom clearly was hitting on me, suddenly asked me out. Ok. I never had THAT kind of response from stewards before. Hahaha… I always thought that the stewardess would normally hit on passengers, but never the steward. I thought that they are all gays… opsie... Hahahahhaha…

Anyway, it was a good trip. Wish I can go back, or go someplace else plak.

Can I quit my job now?

Carca Merba Minggu Ini

Dilema cinta minggu ini
He’s a nice guy, a great guy for any girl. But, I don’t know why my heart resisted the intimacy. He’s the kind of guy who’d cross a million mile just for ‘the’ girl which is obviously me.
He wrote this early last week:
“2 err is human, 2 4give is devine, 2 u I hold no sentiment, no remorse no lynine. D course of our frenship is perculiar, I agree. Yet surprisingly tis heart has not changed wat is has decreed, but frenship is wat tee has 2 offer in return, so wil I honor, though tis heart 4 u still yearns”
I’d know he’d make a good boyfriend and husband to be, and I know I am just plain stupid to let him go. But, this heart keeps resisted. Oh God, is he the one?
I am a hopeless romantic, and he is the same. He’s the guy who had flowers delivered the first time I passed my license. Who would come in the early AM when I got into an accident. Who would never forget about me, never.
Maybe because he confesses too early, that he was not much of a challenge. Remember that the only reason I was into N*I was because he was cold and in no way showing any fond affection? Yet, this nice guy who clearly likes me the first time we went out together was for me, just another guy. Shouldn’t you fall for someone who clearly loves you more?
Sigh.

Oh Kawanku
I had a heated argument with one of my closest friend, and it turned ugly. I know I’m right, but he feels the same too. I wish I don’t take work seriously, but sometimes I do. Maybe because I know this is my safe/comfortable zone.
We didn’t talk after a while. For me, it was a long while. And when I called him earlier on, he didn’t say much. Maybe he got tired of me already.
I should have just been the quiet Suhana like I used to be, but now, I babble too much, talking about right and wrong. Stupid me, stupid stupid me.
I won’t apologize, but he sorta did. It wouldn’t be the same anymore, but maybe I think too much. Always like taking things too serious.
I need my best friend. Where are you?

Seorang lagi kawan
Sometimes I feel that I am too nice. And in this case, I am super nice.
I did something major for a friend, and now it is eating me. My friend is nowhere to be found. And I am stuck to solve this problem. I so don’t need this.
Oh God, terangkanlah hati dia untuk ingatkan aku. So much sacrifices.
I need time to think, and cool down.
And maybe tomorrow, I’ll chase over this friend of mine.
Life is complicated. You can’t be too nice to others, or they’ll use you. You’d do things for people, but they will never appreciate it.
What did I do? – something stupid that you’d think would probably ruin me for a while.
Next step? – Maybe I should become a loner. 0 PROBLEMO.

Status update
Going to Vietnam on Sunday. Goodbye miserable week, and HELLO Vietnam!

Post Istimewa: 3 Dalam 1

It is not a good day. Terrible things happened to me, and it has happened quite a lot. And here I was at the start of the year thinking that this year would be a great year (at least that was what the Chinese calendar said).

I had an accident on Monday. The third one I had.

Monday, 5 February 207
Driving from Salwa’s house to PJ to send Furlong home. Eventhough it was a weekday, but gatalnya us to had some makan2 and dvd session at her house, her first informal house warming. It was midnight and I was the one who insisted on driving.
I was switching from middle lane to the rightmost lane on MRR2, driving in the range of 100-120. Saw something on the road, but didn’t had time to avoid (thought it was some plastic or tyre lying there, the usual kind of dump). Bump.. Keep on driving. La la la la la..
Suddenly this guy in Iswara chase after us, and asked us to stop the car. Luckily Furlong was there, else, I won’t even have the guts to stop. He showed his broken side mirror, and wrecked passenger door. Damn, did I cause that?
Apparently, the thing that I ran over flew off to his car (what an impact!), and causes quite an incident.
The only one I can think of at that point was my brother Colin, who then came to the rescue. Colin didn’t think that it was my fault, hence suggesting we seek the police assistance in resolving the matter. Ding dong ding dong, the police was also in the same opinion. ‘There is no one’s fault in this matter’.
But, the guy was so kesian. ‘All up to budi bicara pemandu di hadapan’. Kesian la pulak kan. We asked him to go to the workshop first and get a quotation, and we’ll discuss further.
Isn’t it just bad luck?
Salah siapakah ini?

15 June 2006
My first ever accident, with my brand new Baby-G.
I have been working non-stop for the past two months, sacrificing all those weekend to deliver the first comprehensive PCSB overall benchmarking. You would say that maybe I was tired, caught up with major exhaustion.
Switching lane. One down. Two down. Three down. Fourth coming. Bamm…
What ever happen? Did the girl in front went for the emergency brake, or was I too anxious to switch lanes that I didn’t see it coming? What did happen?
(Flasback à That morning, I wanted to get really early to office. My General Manager will be presenting the benchmarking exercise, and as the key person, I was to be on standby with backups in case there is additional requirement by Tan Sri President. So, biasala. Suhana gelabah)
I end up having to pay the summon issued by the police and levy by the insurance company, all in all which amounts to quite a lot. Sigh.

25 August 2006
I literally just got back from Sudan. Came home at about 11, had a quick dinner in 30 minutes, and drove to IOI as I have to attend the volunteer briefing for the TUNZA Children Conference.
You can say that I was still having my jetlag. Silly Suhana. I shouldn’t have driven there the same day. I should have taken my sweet rest time, and go the next day. But, when you are committed, you just are, right.
I got lost in between looking at the signboard, and calling people up. And when I did locate the right signboard, I simply didn’t ‘locate’ the car on my left. I bang the car, ended up paying 400 bucks to the girl, and forking another 300 to repair my own. What a day.
But, I appreciated Vedder for coming to the rescue. Such a sweet guy, who made me think and think of how cruel I’ve been. The girl on the other car was saying, “Your boyfriend nampak sangat sayang kat you aa…” Muahahahaha…
Anyway, I never told a single soul about my accident (except for the TUNZA volunteers). Wouldn’t want to get people to sympathized me, or criticize my way of driving. I know I suck in that matter.


How in the world do I remember all these dates? Well, it happen on the same day when something major is happening in my life. So, there goes the yin and yang, whichever good and bad has to balance each other out.

So, the conclusion?
1. Should stop driving completely
2. Need a boyfriend to drive me around
3. Get Aima to drive me around everyday. Ala…. Aima nak kahwin dah!

Silly, silly me.

Review: Where are the young Malays

Nik Nazmi Nik Ahmad
October 2006

A few months ago, a human resource manager at an international bank approached me. He wanted my help to find top young Malays for the bank’s fast-track management programme. "Where are the young Malays?" he asked.

One of the major cornerstones of the New Economic Policy (NEP) is the scholarship system. While scholarships existed prior to the NEP, it was only after the NEP in the 1970s that a large-scale government scholarship programme was initiated to send students to the top universities around the world. It had a huge impact not only on the NEP but also on our developmental success as a whole.

These scholars later joined the civil service and government-linked companies (GLCs), and many later left for the private sector as their contract ended and the opportunity beckoned in Malaysia Incorporated. The backbone of the Malay middle class today is largely a product of this system.

This system is still a crucial feature of our public policy. The best Form Five students are identified by their SPM performance, and then selected for preparatory and foundation studies before being sent to the top universities around the world. Upon graduation, they will come back to serve their respective sponsors for about five to 10 years.

But in conversations I had with various people — investment bankers, management consultants, young entrepreneurs, and chief executive officers — there’s a realisation that there needs to be a radical new approach. The current model results in an inefficient use of human resource (predominantly Malay at that), and may not be the most effective way to meet the objective it was originally designed for.

While millions of ringgit of taxpayers’ money have been invested to give the best possible tertiary education to these crème de la crème, many of them end up caged in jobs that do not fully make use of their potential. In business terms, this is a poor return on investment.
At the same time, with the advent of globalisation and liberalisation, job opportunities for young graduates are wider and more competitive these days. But while students who are privately sponsored or scholars who are not bound to their sponsors are able to reap the benefits of this development, sponsored students find themselves at a disadvantage.

That was why a young investment banker lamented that an often overlooked reason for the lack of young Malay graduates in multinationals and private companies is that a large number of them find themselves bound to their respective sponsors. Yes, other reasons are at play, such as the quality of graduates and discrimination, but those have often been discussed.
One might ask: Isn’t their contract of service only for an initial five to 10 years? They can certainly explore other opportunities after the end of their contracts. Two problems arise here: First, they have missed out at the earliest opportunity to do so, and secondly, while they may be free of their contract, they are now in a comfort zone — bound by their financial and personal commitments — and tend to become risk-averse.

But let’s go beyond whining and ranting. For all the limitations of the current set-up, one cannot overlook the fact that the interests of the sponsors — be they the government or GLCs — must be taken into account. It’s unreasonable to expect them to invest so much money every year in human capital, only for them not to reap the returns.

There is a practical way forward, provided we allow ourselves to think outside the box. I have learnt that some sponsors are actually looking into these alternatives as they too realise the problems that I have raised above.

One way is to provide a flexible period for graduates to serve their contract of service. It can still be five to 10 years, but they are allowed to choose to finish their contract terms anytime within, say, 15 to 20 years. Therefore, the graduates have the choice to either serve the sponsors immediately, or to postpone their service while working in a top private firm, either locally or overseas. Even if they choose to start with their sponsors, they should be allowed to take career breaks to gain experience in other private firms or sabbaticals to attend top graduate schools in the course of their employment.

Admittedly, there is a risk that some might land a well-paying job which would allow them or the employer to buy out the contract. This is a real risk, but since part of the purpose of the whole programme was to produce Malay professionals, the government and GLCs should consider this as part of their contribution to the national interest, especially since their financial outlay is being reimbursed.

Furthermore, many GLCs have diverse subsidiaries and associated companies, and they should allow their scholars to gain different experiences and perspectives through these different companies. This will expose these graduates to the best practices locally and internationally in order for them to develop professionally and contribute to their respective sponsors.
Another way is to provide a fast-track system in the public sector and GLCs for their scholars. This will be an important motivational factor for the scholars, while at the same time allowing the sponsors to leverage on their investment. Combined with the first suggestion, the GLCs will also be able to benefit from the experience, perspective and skills gained by the scholars in various top-class firms and organisations.

This will solve two burning issues that plague the current set-up — a dearth of top young Malay graduates in the private sector, as well as the low return on investment for the government and GLCs on the scholarship programme.

Then, when someone asks where the young Malays are, we can confidently say they are working in the top multinational and private firms around the world, as well in the public sector and GLCs with a competitive and forward-looking career path. And definitely, not becoming Mat Rempits! Isn’t that the true spirit of the NEP?

What Suhana says:
Well said...
But, can we ask more when we are the beggars?
Expectation...
Can we really blame them for seeking compensation? Reaping the benefit? Isn't that what business is all about?
Where DID happen to the OTHER young Malays?

Bersukan bersama teman

I played this prank of a friend just now, and it worked. Haha, haven't had this pleasure for quite a while.

So, basically, here I am, in the office, working. Feeling quite restless, so was taking my own good rest, and decided to call this friend of mine. And yee haa, it totally work! Muahahahha...

So, anyway, last week, had this opportunity to follow this friend of mine to Bukit Tinggi for street-luge. He had this interview with reporters from Bukit Tinggi, and I was there as his PA cum towel girl cum water girl. Very multi-purpose indeed.

STOP

What in the world is street luge?

Street luge is an extreme gravity-powered activity that involves riding a streetluge board (sometimes referred to as a sled) down a paved road or course. Street luge is also known as land luge or road luge. Like skateboarding, street luge is often done for sport and for recreation.
Street luge was born in Southern California as downhill skateboarders found they could reach faster speeds by lying down on their skateboards. This early form of the sport is now referred to as "classic style" or "butt boarding".

So, let's begin the journey.Gambar yang buruk. From left, Abdil, Muiz, Suhana.

At the start point. Here I am in the middle of nowhere. It was raining at first, but it turns out quite all right at the end. Lady luck on their side of course :-p

Mechanics....Now I know who to call the next time I need to change tyres. Muahaha (evil laugh)

Now you can see how high up we were. But the view was superb. Quite an interesting place to come every now and then.

Abdil and the reporter, trying out the walkie-talkie. Ceh ceh ceh.. Macam pro aje. Well, he kinda is. Opsie. You are, aren't you.

On Action... Furlong showing off, trying to impress... Kuih kuih kuih. Was I impressed? Not the slightest. *wink

Akhirnya. Photo time with the famous star, a proof that I've been there, seen that.

So, the article came out yesterday on Berita Harian, front cover. Cis, bangga sangat la tu. Well, of course I am 'kind of proud' of you.
NEXT

Ok, so I am a bit adventurous! What other sport to try out next? Yesterday, I was in Putrajaya for inline skating! Yeah yeah.. I've done something like that 10 years ago, and I am still sucks at it. But, it was such a great experience.

Fully geared up to go. Of course, perasan comel.

Try-out session. Scary at first. Look at how freak out I was.

Yee haa... Like this kid who just learned how to stand! Suhana on her two blades. Isn't that amazing what a 10 minute-lesson can do. You guys should try this out.

THE First walk...

THE first fall

She-He. Taking time off from the tiring skating. Or was me the only one feeling exhausted? All those balancing were tiring la wei.

She-skate and He-skate. Which is which? Look closely la wei.

Group photo.... Where am I? Hmm... Look closely. I am on the other side of the camera la wei. Muahahahaha....

I won't spoil this entry by throwing in thoughts that I had while I was in Putrajaya. Just some silly thought.

Oh Jolly. Too many pix posted, too many memories left.

Gotta go back to work. Need this finish up on some work... FAST!

Muah.

Aduh.... Terlalu Banyak Kesakitan

A lot of problems adding up. I don't know why I have to succumb to all these.

I am just too nice, too naïve, and that is the main reason why I get bullied. I never say no to others in need, and that is why they like to ‘use’ me over and over again. This feeling sucks.

I can’t concentrate on work today, and I’ve got my PPA review later on today. Damn. Troublesome. Headache. Pain. Agony.

I should stop being nice. I should stop helping people a lot. I should just STOP, just about now.
Gosh.. how do I stop being myself?

If I tell you what I have done for this person, you’ll be majorly surprise. You’ll say that I’m just plain stupid, and should have known better. But what can I do, can you say no to other people in need? Can you say no when you see the look on their face crying out for help?

Oh God, please let everything goes well? I’ve had so many plans this year, but all seems to go down the drain. But they say, you’ll always have obstacle along the way, and it always turn out ok in the end, right!.. How I wish that much is true.

I really can’t concentrate on work now, and there’s so much to do --> Some of the works that I had to undertake because I can’t simply say no. I should have gone to Johor and clear off my mind from things, that way; at least I don’t have to see these people……

Right now, the only thing I want to do is lie down on the sofa, with someone by my side consoling me. How I wish THAT much is true.


The disturbed Suhana Sidik.
Lapar…

Kisah Cinta Semalam & Hari Ini

SEMALAM
I drove past you at the highway just now, and I think you noticed. That is me with the speed, unlike the rest of my life.
Then, I began to slow down, actually taking notice of the surrounding traffic. You said, why are in such a rush, when we can just cruise. That somewhat triggers me, and I think, you were right in some way.

Forgive me for being a lil’ irritated when you said that it’s hard for you to tell me that you like me, instead you choose to say that you would like to get to know me better. So, does that mean that you SOMEWHAT like me, (and hence me), and that we should still keep our options open until you finally realizes that you DO like me? That’s why I said, I might settle down this year. No, oh no, I am not talking about the sweet’o’marriage. It’s just that, I might choose the right one this year. So, I do not want you to realize at the last minute that you do like me, but I might somehow have like another you.

Forgive me now, for not telling you that my friends are hooking me up with another guy. A great guy whom I have met once. But, the options are still open, right.

Yes, I did like you. But, that was way back when I had that little crush. But, I was disappointed later upon knowing that the whole world seems to know about it. Then again, indirectly, I was the one who spill the bean. Forgive me for not confronting you earlier. But then again, it will not have come to this. We will not be sitting at the porch having this deep conversation, when your parents are upstairs, maybe eavesdropping.

Then, you dropped me off in front of my sister’s house. I was quite hesitant to get out of the car. I told you that I might tell my good girl friend, and you would be telling the same to your good guy friend. Hahaha… You’d always need the opinion of your good friends huh.

But as I am sitting here (Burger King… alone… waiting), I finally realizes. Why do we need to rush, when there is so much more that we need to discover about each other.
Looking forward for tomorrow, a new day. Hope that this will be the start of a beautiful friendship, if not relationship!


HARI INI
Got back home, feeling kinda tired. End up taking a 30-minutes power nap, and went downstairs to have dinner.

These past few days were something. Felt restless at the end of the so-called post-Valentine marathon, and now having my quiet moment (with Franz Ferdinand playing loudly on the stereo) to re-think. So, what am I doing, and have I done the right thing?

Time flew very fast, and time is indeed something that I felt like missing lately.
So, two of my good friends, Aima and Mail are about ready to settle down. Fiza got married. Sis just gotten a baby. How world evolves.

I guess I wasn’t scared when I said yes to getting to know each other more, but as I got back to sweet little haven of mine, it made me wonder whether I made the right choice. Lust or love, a question that came through mind. Maybe, give it more time. But, I do not want to start something new now, when there is a lot more in life to explore.

I know I always like to contradict myself. Sometimes I can’t reassure myself what I wanted in life. Sometimes I don’t give a damn, and just carry on with whatever. In this case, what the hell was I thinking?

I always thought that love is the kind of thing that happen at that instantaneous moment. We should never work towards it. That particular instant matters. That first look, that first smile, that FIRST MOMENT. You know when you JUST KNOW.

So, when two people are trying to get to know each other better, are they discreetly trying to force themselves to like the other person better? Well, it always have to start somewhere. So, when is that FIRST MOMENT? Does all moments a contributing moment? This is no longer the fantasy I had in mind. But then again, I had that moment when I first saw him. So, when was his first moment to me? I thought first moment happens when both party connect, and instantaneously felt the same way.

Anyway, a post I wanted to put up a long time ago, but I keep forgetting. This is what I called FIRST MOMENT:

(DAHULU)
Life is amazing. All the things that happen around you, happen for a reason. Even if you succumb to disappointment, have faith that good things will arose after. That is what I often forget to do.. having faith.

How I wish my life is a little bit more interesting.

,,.You are walking down the street with that confident look. Hair blown by the wind, going left to right, having that glow on your face. You and him exchanged look, and instantaneously his thought went softly saying, I wish that girl is mine.
,,, Your first date. The one that he felt nervous about asking, that he had to rehearse over and over again to get it right. Even if he did everything accordingly, he wasn’t sure that you’d even say yes. But he didn’t know that it was what you’ve been waiting for. The first date was so perfect. The duo on violin to compliment the good food. And then he ask you to dance. Later that night when he drop you to your house, the first kiss on the cheek. Isn’t that perfect.
… There was this major conference. You spotted him from afar, and so did he. He watched you from the moment you went into the room to the second you took your seat. Both of you exchange that flirting smile. You then totally ignore him during tea, and lunch. He tried to steal some of your time, but you played the smart game of hard to get. He watched with jealousy as you were swamped with other guys. Then later as you make your way to the toilet, he kidnap you to his car and brought you to of all places… McDonald. ‘All those hide and seek exhaust me. Can I have you all by myself tonight?” You giggled. For hours you two were talking and flirting and laughing and smiling. Luckily it’s a 24 hours store. You two ended up having breakfast the next morning.

Don’t you wish that the girl is you? The First moment that matters a lot.

I bable too much, yeah I do. I think too much, yeah I do.
Come on, Suhana. Just go with the flow.
In this process of getting to know each other, we are given the opportunity to explore other prospects as well, right? Right until he said that magical word, then you know whether you’d get those funny feelings, full of anticipation. Then, you would know whether you are meant to be.

Anyway, remember the song I told you about earlier today. A song dedicated to you, Mr. someone for the beautiful weekend we had together.
Like I said, Hope that this will be the start of a beautiful friendship, if not relationship!

Too revealing? Me being true to myself
flowers for you……… ------@ muah.......

Siri pertama: Sebelum dan semasa Nikah (TRIBUTE TO FIZA &YAHYA)

So, my very good friend got married, finally!

Part 1 of the wedding (too lazy to wait to upload all pictures up to her sanding, because this internet in Starbucks is too freaking slow)....

So, wait for the 2nd installment where yours truely is the sweet pengapit. Muahahahaha...

Fiza getting her inai done. Yours truely also had hers done. Konon nak dapat the same aura. Maybe, I'll be next. Hehe.....

Semasa diandam oleh 2 'mak-andam', seorang yang sungguh senior, manakala seorang lagi yang sungguh kacak, tapi sayang, .... sayang seribu sayang...

Waduh2... she looks so pretty.....

During the akad.... Yahya had his akad sekali lepas aje... but in English.. obviously.

Wong and myself.... Terharu sungguh dia datang.. finally.

And all the kids were like... Abg Spider! Abg spider...

The gang... Ala.. comelnya anak Zul!!!!

So, first installment done. Fiza yang sungguh lawa, dan Yahya yang sungguh hensem.

Ok.. next installment coming......................