Oh.. Kahwin Lagi?

So Pak Lah and Jeanne got married. Me and dd were in Putrajaya, and decided to stalk the wedding. We drove up to Kompleks Seri Perdana, but got nowhere near the action.

Weird thing why everyone chosen yesterday as THE day to tie the knot. I had three invitations, all in Kelana Jaya, Cheras and Kedah respectively. dd got another two in Putrajaya and Tabung Haji. We ended going to the one in Kelana Jaya, Putrajaya and Tabung Haji. Berkenduri dengan jayanya as some might say.

Everyone with their perfect ending. Isn’t life great this way.

So, talking about marriage… I was thinking that maybe 20.08.2008 is a good time to get married. But, yeah, it’s too soon. So I guess 20.10.2010 is a great timing as well. Haha. At least I’ll be 27 then.. matured and ready to get married. No rush… Boo!

Oleng & Hariz... Congrats guys

So, this very good friend of mine dah kahwin over the weekend. It was such a long journey to Kluang, which i really underestimated. I thought 2.5 hours sampaila. Actually, it's more of a 4 hours drive there.
Dahla Seremban jam gila cause apparently ada trailler yang terbalik. Fuhh.. Luckily i decided to ask Kimi whether bley join diorang drive down to Kluang. Kimi yang cuak kena gossip with me (ehem orang dah ada commitment) decided to ajak Wira to join me in the car.
But it was fun. At least like Wira said, dapat kenal kakak angkat sorang... ops... Hello.. I am not that old ok. Oleng pun kahwin ngan your friend, even with the two years age gap.

Anyway, i had lots of fun. And people keep bugging me with the lame question of "bila your turn?" I cakap.."Pakcik/makcik (in that context) doa2kan la untuk saya", or bila malas gila I will say, "Insya Allah next year".. Muahahahhaha...

So one friend got married! Congrats girl! Muah

Gambar pada malam pernikahan. Oleng memang nampak ayu sangat malam tu.. Bestnya kahwin. Memang berseri2.

Inilah saat2 mendebarkan semasa Oleng ditanya Pak Kadi.. Nak kahwin dengan Hariz tak. Haha.. Camne kalau dia cakap taknak. Takke skandal namanya. Then nak sign tu, mesti terketar gak. Seumur hidup ni. First time tengok sign depan mata.
Ahh.. Comelnya. Memang gambar paling best sekali..

Inilah kami.. Serius bidan terjun.. Tak tau plak malam tu kena jadi pengapit.. so memang tak sedondon. And Oleng & Hariz pakai baju merah kuning lambang kebanggan Selangor. Hahahaha..

Me and Kimi... the pengapit. Apa la Kimi.. tak sedondon langsung.. Hahaha.. Takpe, kira still matching la tu.. Hey, congrats la. Kata nak bertunang bulan 7 nanti. Cis.. Lagi awal dari aku..

Kami2 semua selepas makan dengan kenyangnya... From left Fahrin, Nizman, Faiz, Kimi, Wira, Hilman, Suhana and Hatta (sitting). Oh kali ini me and Kimi sedondon. Tapi tak nak amik sebelah2, takut kena gossip :p

The team and I with the pengantin.. I miss those guys. Hahaha

Me and Oleng just before I left for Kuala Lumpur. Sangat yuppies.

Anyway, the drive to home took about 7 hours. We left at 5pm, and i arrived home at about 11.30 pm. Penat gila. Apparently KL banjir.

This was a good road trip. The guys were funny (we had lots of those cerita cinta yang will stay in the car for good). You guys rock la. Ke I memang dah jadi one of the guys. Coolness ~~

A new beginning?

If he is not meant to be, just let him go. That is exactly what I am doing right now. Trying to let go.

So, I have been quiet. I was pre-occupied with something… or someone. But, I just realized (again) that it is not meant to be. Again, I am forcing myself to let go, and focus my mind elsewhere. Exactly what I did to F. Sigh.

I guess me and love never go the same path. I hate the fact that I am such a loser. I just want, this once to fall for a normal guy. Turns out that it is not all sweet and dandy.

I feel so much a loner. Who would actually take leave from work, to spend time at home, and then scroll through their phone list out of boredom? A loser that is.

I think I need to pick up the same pace that I had back in Melbourne. I was bold. I think it may be for the apparent reason that Wan was there to lift me back whenever I feel down. And I never felt bored with him. I bug him constantly, that’s why. Haha.

I need to make myself busy again. Join Puteri UMNO or whatever. Or start actively blogging again, maybe about current issues. Or join up a club/society and make myself visible. Don’t let guys control me. Hey, I used to be on top of my game.

Early this year, I had 19 things I want to do this year. Let’s go through that list.

1.Date someone famous – Haha. You wish.
2.I’ve already got 1, maybe 2 more to go. What? Well, secret.
3.I didn’t fall in love. But, I did fall for someone
4.Valentine – yeah. Did that. With that special someone? Sorta…
5.Bali – coming2.
6.Mt Kinabalu – Maybe end of this year. Probably..
7.US – money management issue. Tunggu bonus
8.Clear of credit card – 1 credit card cleared. Tapi terguna tadi. Tunggu bonus
9.First investment – unlikely. Sigh
10.Register a business – maybe I should have put a thought on it
11.yada yada yada
12.errk.. tennis competition? Ma-il…. Coach sir… where are you?
13.jogging weekly. Darn… will do!
14.45kg.. I am overweight. Since this is the target, will strive harder
15.I haven’t got any flowers this year. Prince charming tiada. Secret admirer pun tiada. Bosan kan hidupku.
16.learn mandarin – dulu nak impress a guy. Now, tiada lagi. But I am learning Russian. Can we just swap.
17.Part time job – did something early this year. And got paid some more. Hahaha..
18.XD – ala,.. will put that on my calendar
19.change signature cause my signature tak ong. Need to create a new one.

Woo.. I need to plan my life la. Now I realize that there are a long of things that I haven’t done. Tu la… Busy on some other things. Ok Suhana, you’ve got more things in life to discover. Stop thinking about that other thing ok. Be strong. I support YOU!

I have always been telling you lad whatever is in my mind, or whatever that has happen recently.

Here it goes. Boy meets girl … or the other way around.

The end.

Semuanya selamat?

I think love keeps me going. The enthusiasm of getting to know a person, or the feeling of maybe there will be a slight chance of happiness would be all over me, hence the excitement.

I haven’t felt that for quite a while. I only felt heartbroken. I feel empty.

Furlong said I’ve changed. I think that is very much true.

I am tired of waiting. I am tired of getting hurt. I want to escape. Take a long break from work.. and people.

Sometimes I feel suicidal. I am not sure how I am going to live my life.

Thanks Wan for all the things you’ve done for me. If you didn’t come out as my savior the other day, I would have already done something stupid. You’ve been a great friend. But, why were we not compatible when you understand me so much? Ego got in the way? Did I ask too much?

A person would need a purpose of living.. It’s what some companies normally envision as their mission statement. I think I lack that. I need to have a strong purpose. I need to chart my future.

I am not sure what my goals are. I see myself as very simple, yet people say that I’m complicated. I think I sometimes think too much. I observe, and I put too much thought to it.

You need to just go with the flow. Put on a brave smile every morning, and hide your true emotion. I am already sick with that.

That is woman with emotion. I think my PMS got in the way. That is why this long suicidal note. Don’t worry. I won’t do something stupid, God forbid.

I just need that one sign that everything would be ok. I just need to be with someone normal right now to TELL ME that everything would be ok. I just need that moment in time where I KNOW everything would be ok. I just want TO FEEL that everything would be ok. I won’t ask for more. Would everything be ok?

Kecamuk Minda Muncul Kembali

I missed calling someone 'sayang'... And i missed being called 'sayang'... I missed being pampered a lot.

Why the sudden emotion?

On Monday, I finally had the 'talk' with Vedder, and I pissed him badly. He ended leaving me at the restaurant. Maybe what I said somewhat triggered his hate towards me. But how can you ever leave a girl in the restaurant, feeling clueless.

Bad enough that you forgot about my birthday, but then you are angry and irritated at me for not remembering or maybe not knowing. Me, being honest, told you everything. It is very stupid being honest, and i am a stupid fool. And then, you paid the check and left. Such a drama king.

If Vedder, the guy i have all this while labelled as a gentleman can do this to me, what about the rest of male population? I feel very low at this point. That explains why i am still in the office at 10 freaking pm wondering about what I'm gonna do with my freaking life.

Then on Tuesday, maybe from the spin-off fight, I got sick. Down with fever and flu, and had to spend my whole day on bed. Well, look at the bright sight. At least it was a good rest.

On Wednesday, which is today, at 10 freaking pm, looking at the monitor thinking about what work TO DO NEXT and upon learning that my collegue Kak I is freaking 40 and not yet married, it scared the living out of me. Will that be me in 15 more years? God Forbid. Don't be too choosy Suhana.

I better stop before I have another breakdown.

Keresahan Dia

So, Mr Vedder wants to have THAT talk. I guess he's tired of waiting for me, and he thinks that he's being played. Is he? He doesn't mind the negative repercussion, and he just wanted it out of his syste for good.

I was furious when I read his sms last night without realizing that it is my fault as much. I keep on delaying this, and it is eating him. I couldn't make up my mind and I let him hang. I guess he had enough.

We went out last night, but I was never in the mood. I am no longer that bubly girl people used to know, instead I changed to this horrid serious girl who have no sense, no purpose.

Munchkin, we are so much alike in many ways. Your experience matured you in many ways. Thank you for sharing and caring.

I've made up my mind. I am going to see him tonight. Hopefully, it ends well. If it doesn't, I am going to lose this beautiful friendship... and hope of a better future.

Aku Bukan Orang Vietnam

“Hello Miss, Are you Vietnamese or Malaysian?”
That was the first thing the guy next to me said when I boarded the plane. Geez… Is that supposed to be a compliment? Do I have this exotic Vietnam look. Haha.
Ok, Malaysian don’t really know Malaysian that well.

But get this, upon arrival, at the immigration counter to get my passport stamped, the officer started talking confidently in this strange language. And the only thing I can say is, “I’m not Vietnamese. Sorry”, with that cheeky smile. He smile back, obviously embarrassed.

I guess I get that a lot during my 1 and 1/2 day stay. It’s good though, because I can just blend in with the crowd (except for the clearly different fashion statement).

Vietnam is a nice city, and I was already imagining myself working there one day. The things are cheap and the people are all warm and friendly. Motorbikes are everywhere in sight, but it is not too crowded. But, I wouldn’t imagine myself driving there, ever.

I thought about walking by myself in the city, plain sightseeing. But these people in motorbikes keep bugging me to let them show me around. “Miss, 50 thousand Dong for one hour. I can bring you to the museum, the Chinatown, etc2…..” I smile and walk away, up to a point where I felt suffocated and decided to call Shah’s wife. Luckily they were somewhere around the place. She picked me up and we went shopping in Bentan, a famous tourist market. Got myself this silk top, and a bangle for my mom. It was already late, and the driver had to go pick up those who played golf, a 45 minutes away from the city. I end up lepak-king at their apartment, having instant noodles and watching teen hilarious flick, John Tucker Must Die.

Bestnya jalan2. I wish I can go travel the world, and discover the culture of other countries. Wouldn’t life be more interesting then for me.

The next day was the boring meeting, which I tried so much to stay awake. I know I’ll be asked about it later. The whole time I keep telling myself, Be awake Su, wake up! Ding dong!

I wish I could have stayed longer, but I know for a fact that my boss was quite reluctant to let me go in the first place. So, off I go catching that evening flight back, alone. Yeah, occasionally people come to approach me, and speak Vietnamese. I was seated to this old lady in the 80’s who couldn’t speak any English. Very much a disaster, but she was nice. We had sign languages flying around, and I taught her few tricks also. Haha. I guess it was her first time taking flight.

The weird thing is, there were a few of the stewards who started making conversations with me. We started chatting like old pals. This guy, whom clearly was hitting on me, suddenly asked me out. Ok. I never had THAT kind of response from stewards before. Hahaha… I always thought that the stewardess would normally hit on passengers, but never the steward. I thought that they are all gays… opsie... Hahahahhaha…

Anyway, it was a good trip. Wish I can go back, or go someplace else plak.

Can I quit my job now?