Toastmaster Experience - Aku Gagap!

I fumble badly today at a toastmaster meeting, and I felt incompetent. I ain’t too proud of the recognition of being the first Competent Communicator of my club, and felt strongly about stripping off my title there and then.

You can’t escape the fact that it was one of the hardest topic that you’ve heard (say me and the rest of the guests), hence people were reluctant to volunteer themselves. As I was falsely volunteered, I thought that I might have just given it a shot. Hey, how bad can it be? But then my mind went blank and I stare emptily at the crowd. My mouth was open, I was talking yet it did not make any perfect sense. Then I went blank again. Oh screw this, I could not take this crap I was making.

And all this happens when I was just about to minimize my toastmaster involvement, when I was just about to reduce my meetings participation, and focuses more on work. There and then I realize the fact that I needed more practice. In front of those very experienced speakers, I have made a name for myself. The girl who walked away from 2 table topic themes when she is in fact, a Competent Communicator (oh, just scrap that).

I am not too proud of myself. And I realize how I’ve always been putting off things, such as the fact that I don’t blog more nowadays. I was focusing more on other things that I felt matters, and shifting my focus on other things that have started to reach a decent comfortability level.

Balance it up girl! Don’t believe that you are good at one thing after reaching a certain comfort zone, and started losing grip on it. Keep striving for more excellence by comparing yourself with others, and your vision will be a moving target where you always aim to be better.

There it goes. A disappointment which resulted in a positive determination to be better. Let’s do it babeh…

Ps: I guess the fact that I don’t write much nowadays proves the point where my writing skills have suddenly deteriorates. Oh well…