A Mother's Note to His Son - Happy Father's Day

Dear Mika,

There’s so many things that a mother can tell their sons about life. But I don’t think you would want a nagging mother telling you what to do. You would always be mommy’s boy but perhaps heed advice from your father most of the time. Like when mommy says NO, you would run off to papa to undo whatever my instruction would be. Or when you want to marry your dream girl, perhaps papa would give you the life lessons you need to go through that life changing moment. I would always be there though, watching you, getting sentimental at all of your FIRST experiences, making pages and pages of scrapbook to capture every moment.

Sometimes I wonder what makes fathers bond (especially with their daughters) so special. I was never my father’s favorite. I grew up in a big family and with my father’s strict military routine, it is hard to say if your grandfather ever had a favorite child. He is probably the most frugal family man you meet. I hated him most of the time, as he would bring his rotan out and smack us whenever we were loud or if he hear the sounds of something breaking in the house. He can’t stand children, being away most of his life to serve the nation’s finest army. I never understood my father until after I grew up, and perhaps a little too late.

Sometimes I envy other girls parading their loving relationship with their dad, kissing them, hugging them happily. I never had that, it just felt awkward. The only moment I hug my dad was when I tried to calm him and cuddle him to sleep in the hospital bed when he refuses to put his oxygen mask on. And the only time I ever kiss him is at the mosque when he had been bathe, before they laid him to his final rest 6 feet under.

Sometimes you wish you could turn time and tell him that you understood why he was so hard on you before, that you could never ask for a better father. Given the hardship he went through when he was younger and then raising his family, you wish you have then given him the life he wanted when you grew up. But there is no use in regretting what has past.

So Mika, cherish every moment you have with your papa. Never shy away from telling him you love him, even how cheesy it may sound. Hug him always, because as they say, skin contact leaves an imprint for life. And even with multiple fights and arguments you will have with him later, always believe that whenever he raises his voice and uses that rotan, it was because he loves you unconditionally.

When you are a father yourself, perhaps you would understand. 4 weeks old and you are already getting this pep talk from this nagging mommy. I’ll save some of this emotion until Mother’s day next year.

Happy FATHER’s day, and grandFATHER’s day.