If he is not meant to be, just let him go. That is exactly what I am doing right now. Trying to let go.
So, I have been quiet. I was pre-occupied with something… or someone. But, I just realized (again) that it is not meant to be. Again, I am forcing myself to let go, and focus my mind elsewhere. Exactly what I did to F. Sigh.
I guess me and love never go the same path. I hate the fact that I am such a loser. I just want, this once to fall for a normal guy. Turns out that it is not all sweet and dandy.
I feel so much a loner. Who would actually take leave from work, to spend time at home, and then scroll through their phone list out of boredom? A loser that is.
I think I need to pick up the same pace that I had back in Melbourne. I was bold. I think it may be for the apparent reason that Wan was there to lift me back whenever I feel down. And I never felt bored with him. I bug him constantly, that’s why. Haha.
I need to make myself busy again. Join Puteri UMNO or whatever. Or start actively blogging again, maybe about current issues. Or join up a club/society and make myself visible. Don’t let guys control me. Hey, I used to be on top of my game.
Early this year, I had 19 things I want to do this year. Let’s go through that list.
1.Date someone famous – Haha. You wish.
2.I’ve already got 1, maybe 2 more to go. What? Well, secret.
3.I didn’t fall in love. But, I did fall for someone
4.Valentine – yeah. Did that. With that special someone? Sorta…
5.Bali – coming2.
6.Mt Kinabalu – Maybe end of this year. Probably..
7.US – money management issue. Tunggu bonus
8.Clear of credit card – 1 credit card cleared. Tapi terguna tadi. Tunggu bonus
9.First investment – unlikely. Sigh
10.Register a business – maybe I should have put a thought on it
11.yada yada yada
12.errk.. tennis competition? Ma-il…. Coach sir… where are you?
13.jogging weekly. Darn… will do!
14.45kg.. I am overweight. Since this is the target, will strive harder
15.I haven’t got any flowers this year. Prince charming tiada. Secret admirer pun tiada. Bosan kan hidupku.
16.learn mandarin – dulu nak impress a guy. Now, tiada lagi. But I am learning Russian. Can we just swap.
17.Part time job – did something early this year. And got paid some more. Hahaha..
18.XD – ala,.. will put that on my calendar
19.change signature cause my signature tak ong. Need to create a new one.
Woo.. I need to plan my life la. Now I realize that there are a long of things that I haven’t done. Tu la… Busy on some other things. Ok Suhana, you’ve got more things in life to discover. Stop thinking about that other thing ok. Be strong. I support YOU!
2 comments:
all the luck in the world
I want to leave a comment that I hope will enlighten yourself as well as other readers of your blog, but I think I will wait. After we watch a certain movie that is.
In fact, I think I'll leave a general comment after we watch the movie. And I will also give you a personalized letter (the one that I've always been wanting to give you but have been putting off / postponing, but NOW this time I am definitely certain of writing one) that will explain all the things that I've pondered, extracted, rationalized, understood, communicated (with you), and most importantly, LEARNED, when I was going thru this interesting phase of life with you.
Let me know when we can watch that movie, and I'll leave the general comment PLUS I'll give you that letter (which I haven't written yet, but will).
Haha.
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