I just got back from BAKTI, and feeling every bit anguished..tormented. Not that the program wasn’t great or anything, it’s just that.. I have been feeling very down lately. I need to occupy my time as much as possible, and I need to let go of this feeling for a special someone. It’s about time.
I just don’t know why guys like to do this to me. I feel very hurt inside.
Today is exactly one month since the day that had changed the course of my life. Ahaks. Those were the sweet time.
My friend told me that I’m stupid. They told me that I am wasting my time. I just don’t know. Am I?
I really need to cry right now. I really need someone NOW… Please someone… anyone.
Signing off… Your Ikan Paus.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
How My Interesting Week Has Been
Ok.. So done with all those depressing moments (well, not really. I know for sure that I would be very depressed later on tonite, but heck.. I just don’t give a damn)
Rewind back to the early week.
I went to Penang ON Friday after work. Friend of Fiza’s was getting married, and I was there just to tag along. So there were Fiza, Yahya, me and Wong. Wong is a really funny guy, and it’s kinda hard to find a Chinese guy who speaks good Malay… and Kelantanese fluently. Hats off la..
I think I was eating 5-6 times a day, twice during the kenduri (makan kat meja pengantin yg tak tahan tu.. cam la tetamu kehormat), then we will usually have late dinner in town. Argh, Zul had to drag us all the way to town at 1 in the morning to have his ‘kuey tiaw longkang’, apparently very famous there. It was good, but I couldn’t remember the taste, cause my eyes were half close, and I am definite that I was asleep like 97% of the time we were driving. It was damn tiring.
Oh, have I mentioned that I stayed over at the Rumah Peranginan PETRONAS in Batu Feringhi? It was damn cheap for a $15 studio. The room was ok (minus the towel UN-availability, where we had to dry off by exercising jumping up and down.. ahaks), the view was superb and I guess, it was fairly good.
We went swimming, since the beach was like, mm…. in front of the place . But, there were like disgusting mud if you go swim further ahead. Argh. Yahya and Wong actually took the mud and smear it all over their faces.. Good face mask aa kononnya.
Oh, and I had the chance to meet our new SGM, had dinner with him and the rest of the gang, and did some gossiping after that. It was fairly interesting. Hehe.. Ada gossip panas aa kengkawan.
Went back on Sunday, but we had a stopover in Ipoh to Fiza’s place. Seriously aa, Fiza’s mom looks very young and petite. She’s quite pretty for age. Patut aa anak dia pun comel gak. Hehe..
Overall.. It was a good trip.
Then on Tuesday, I went for the philharmonic orchestra with Azrin. Thanks yeah cause you actually invited me to tag along. Hhehe.. terharu aa ada kawan2 camni.
The conductor was Lorin Maazel, some famous guy from New York, featuring Lidia Baich on violin. It was superb. We were like 6 rows in front (woo.. ticket mahal tu). Mat saleh ni memang banyak yang hensem2 ek. Sukanya saya.
My second philharmonic experience actually, cause the first time was when I went for the free organ recital last year. But, this is nothing compared to that. It was a 2 hours show, but I felt that it was just too amazing.
Do you know people actually wear suit for this, and girls were dressing up parading the latest designer clothes. Hehe.. Well, maybe not latest, I guess it was more of last season dress. Hehe. And I was there in a business suit. Hmm.. Kira ok aa tu.
Takde pic from here, cause they don’t allow camera in. It’s ok. I’ll take photo from the magazine la later on.
Hmm.. And the depressing moment I had this week. Thanks Irfan, and Zalina for being there for me. I don’t know what to do without you guys. I guess, this is just how I am destined to lead life huh. Argh.. Anyway...........
I am going for F1 tomorrow. Finally got my Diamond grandstand ticket from Zalina. Thank you dear…………Love you so much.
I’ll post pic later. Uhuu..
Rewind back to the early week.
I went to Penang ON Friday after work. Friend of Fiza’s was getting married, and I was there just to tag along. So there were Fiza, Yahya, me and Wong. Wong is a really funny guy, and it’s kinda hard to find a Chinese guy who speaks good Malay… and Kelantanese fluently. Hats off la..
I think I was eating 5-6 times a day, twice during the kenduri (makan kat meja pengantin yg tak tahan tu.. cam la tetamu kehormat), then we will usually have late dinner in town. Argh, Zul had to drag us all the way to town at 1 in the morning to have his ‘kuey tiaw longkang’, apparently very famous there. It was good, but I couldn’t remember the taste, cause my eyes were half close, and I am definite that I was asleep like 97% of the time we were driving. It was damn tiring.
Oh, have I mentioned that I stayed over at the Rumah Peranginan PETRONAS in Batu Feringhi? It was damn cheap for a $15 studio. The room was ok (minus the towel UN-availability, where we had to dry off by exercising jumping up and down.. ahaks), the view was superb and I guess, it was fairly good.
We went swimming, since the beach was like, mm…. in front of the place . But, there were like disgusting mud if you go swim further ahead. Argh. Yahya and Wong actually took the mud and smear it all over their faces.. Good face mask aa kononnya.
Oh, and I had the chance to meet our new SGM, had dinner with him and the rest of the gang, and did some gossiping after that. It was fairly interesting. Hehe.. Ada gossip panas aa kengkawan.
Went back on Sunday, but we had a stopover in Ipoh to Fiza’s place. Seriously aa, Fiza’s mom looks very young and petite. She’s quite pretty for age. Patut aa anak dia pun comel gak. Hehe..
Overall.. It was a good trip.
Then on Tuesday, I went for the philharmonic orchestra with Azrin. Thanks yeah cause you actually invited me to tag along. Hhehe.. terharu aa ada kawan2 camni.
The conductor was Lorin Maazel, some famous guy from New York, featuring Lidia Baich on violin. It was superb. We were like 6 rows in front (woo.. ticket mahal tu). Mat saleh ni memang banyak yang hensem2 ek. Sukanya saya.
My second philharmonic experience actually, cause the first time was when I went for the free organ recital last year. But, this is nothing compared to that. It was a 2 hours show, but I felt that it was just too amazing.
Do you know people actually wear suit for this, and girls were dressing up parading the latest designer clothes. Hehe.. Well, maybe not latest, I guess it was more of last season dress. Hehe. And I was there in a business suit. Hmm.. Kira ok aa tu.
Takde pic from here, cause they don’t allow camera in. It’s ok. I’ll take photo from the magazine la later on.
Hmm.. And the depressing moment I had this week. Thanks Irfan, and Zalina for being there for me. I don’t know what to do without you guys. I guess, this is just how I am destined to lead life huh. Argh.. Anyway...........
I am going for F1 tomorrow. Finally got my Diamond grandstand ticket from Zalina. Thank you dear…………Love you so much.
I’ll post pic later. Uhuu..
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
DEPRESSED
Hey blog,
I am feeling so depressed right now.
I put on a happy face at work, trying to laugh as hard as I can when someone was making even the funniest sound, and put on a brave smile when I saw my friends. Or I guess they were all too busy to notice that I was really... DEPRESSED :(... on the very verge rite now.
What have I been doing today? I kept myself occupied with work and meetings, well, the usual way.
Plus, I've been listening to this song, 'You're Beautiful' over and over again on WMP.
You know what, this is why I don't like to fall in love. This is why I don't like to date guys. Cause I don't think they are honest enough towards me. They all like to make feel vulnerable. It's the sad sappy dilemma.
I guess I won't have problems dating, so why was I rushing.
I should wait for that special someone to surprise me and do something incredibly romantic... or stupid enough to gain my heart. Heck, I won't get a boyfriend till... well, never maybe. All the good ones are always taken. Boys like to rush into things u see.
I hate this feeling. I really hate this. I don't need all this. I was suppose to be telling how happy I was going to Philharmonic yesterday, or my weekend in Penang, but nothing can top this depressing mood I am having right now. PPA review is tomorrow, but I am in no mood to finish it up. Can I just call in sick, and stay in bed the whole day tomorrow?
I do need to take a break. Wan called me up yesterday. I was pouring my heart out and he was there listening... as always. Thanks yeah. I wish I could go to the state next month. I wanted to take time off NOT thinking about work+life related matter.
Ok.. I need to post this song out, cause I love it so much. This was kinda like the time when I fell in love with the song from Pearl Harbour, There You'll Be.. :D.
You're Beautiful
by James Blunt
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
ps.. I have been repeatedly listening to this song since 8.20 pm. Damnit.
I am feeling so depressed right now.
I put on a happy face at work, trying to laugh as hard as I can when someone was making even the funniest sound, and put on a brave smile when I saw my friends. Or I guess they were all too busy to notice that I was really... DEPRESSED :(... on the very verge rite now.
What have I been doing today? I kept myself occupied with work and meetings, well, the usual way.
Plus, I've been listening to this song, 'You're Beautiful' over and over again on WMP.
You know what, this is why I don't like to fall in love. This is why I don't like to date guys. Cause I don't think they are honest enough towards me. They all like to make feel vulnerable. It's the sad sappy dilemma.
I guess I won't have problems dating, so why was I rushing.
I should wait for that special someone to surprise me and do something incredibly romantic... or stupid enough to gain my heart. Heck, I won't get a boyfriend till... well, never maybe. All the good ones are always taken. Boys like to rush into things u see.
I hate this feeling. I really hate this. I don't need all this. I was suppose to be telling how happy I was going to Philharmonic yesterday, or my weekend in Penang, but nothing can top this depressing mood I am having right now. PPA review is tomorrow, but I am in no mood to finish it up. Can I just call in sick, and stay in bed the whole day tomorrow?
I do need to take a break. Wan called me up yesterday. I was pouring my heart out and he was there listening... as always. Thanks yeah. I wish I could go to the state next month. I wanted to take time off NOT thinking about work+life related matter.
Ok.. I need to post this song out, cause I love it so much. This was kinda like the time when I fell in love with the song from Pearl Harbour, There You'll Be.. :D.
You're Beautiful
by James Blunt
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
ps.. I have been repeatedly listening to this song since 8.20 pm. Damnit.
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