Please pray for my abah

I looked at his lifeless body and started to think about the many things I have wronged him. Especially when we used to fight a lot when I was in my teens. We have this love hate relationship when I was growing up under his strict army regime. And over the years with many grandchildren, abah has mellowed to this funny granddad but still overprotective father. Over the years, hate has become total love.

You see, abah grew up as a poor boy from Padang Pak Amat, Pasir Putih Kelantan. His IC may indicate that he’s 66 but he could only do his birth certificate much later when he was 12, and driven by the urge to serve the nation longer, he is 4 years younger than his actual age.

He wanted all his kids to grow up successful when he did not have the chance. We were taught to be independent from the time we were small. Probably didn’t have the lavish life that we dream off but we had enough. We were crammed in a small house with the rotan on the wall as a reminder to us on the disciplining needed if we break the value he has impart on us. And he may be stingy (or frugal, how you look at it), but raising 10 kids is no small matter. He was not around most of our childhood because of his posting in Borneo, but we were terrified of him growing up. But all his kids grew up a successful fashion designer, tv/movie producer, banker, engineer, etc etc. Alhamdulillah, he has shape us well.

Abah was admitted to the hospital on Thursday. Over the past several weeks, he has lost at least 7 kg because of the lack of food intake. He lost his appetite and with that, the will to survive. Week after week you would see his body shrink, and the structure of the bones has become more obvious.

There were argument between the doctors from Medical and Surgery in Hospital Selayang about his condition, and I am truly grateful for the kind doctor in Surgery who insists on admitting him. On Friday morning, his condition worsens. He had low blood pressure, low oxygen level and developed high fever, that the doctor decided to punch a hole on his shoulder straight to his heart. He was put on oxygen mask until finally they decided to induce him to sleep so that they can put the oxygen tube in.

They have detected sepsis in his body. And it was just too heartbreaking to see his lifeless body on the hospital bed on Friday afternoon. I wish I was there to say so many things to him before he was put in a coma.

Sepsis is a potentially fatal whole-body inflammation caused by serious infection like bacteria, fungi viruses and parasites in the body. There are millions of deaths every year. In the case of my mom when she went through it 2 years ago, the sepsis was so severe that it developed organ dysfunction. She had to go through dialysis every day then because her kidneys were not working. And the doctor has asked us to fear for the worst.

I wondered how this could have been detected in Hospital Selayang when my dad was only admitted in the reputable Hospital Ampang Puteri a few weeks back with the same prognosis. He was in the hospital for 4 days and discharge with a huge hospital bills at the end just for the doctor to come back and say that there is nothing wrong. Aren’t they obligated to investigate when there is clearly something wrong when his body rejected food intake.

X-ray done on Friday indicated hemorrhaging lung (lung is bleeding) and they suspected leptospirosis (or in Malay term ‘kencing tikus’). They are trying to clear his lung infection before they do scoping to see if there is cancer. I am impressed with the level of professionalism in Hospital Selayang when a private hospital could not give us an answer. The doctor is Selayang Surgery was so motivated to find out what’s wrong with abah as he has vague symptomes and his worsening conditions troubled him the most.

Eventhough my mom has been the ones who has been going in and out of the hospital wheelchair bound, she seems to be the stronger one. When she had sepsis, she stunned the doctor with a miraculous recovery. I remembered seeing abah cried when doctor mentioned about the slim chance for ma to make it through it. That was the very first time abah cried.

Now, Abah seems to be losing that will to live and that scared me the most. I would go to his bed and tell him to stay strong, because I still need him.

“Abah tak tengok lagi anak nana. Nanti nana ada anak siapa nak marah2 dia, disciplinekan dia”. I know he was listening as his breathing became heavier, his mouth twitching. Please God, don’t take him away now.

Please pray for my abah. 

Why I am in Love with Simon Sinek's Start with WHY

Most companies know exactly HOW to promote their brand and WHAT their product does. But some could not clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. And this is what Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle entail – “If enough of us learn about the existence of the WHY and work hard to start everything we do with WHY, we can and will change the world”.

Take Apple for example. Most would agree that the company is highly successful because of Steve Job’s vision of the world with Apple.  Unlike other products that market its exclusivity and try to give compelling evidence why it is the best, Steve always speak about the WHY: of Apple intended vision in challenging the status quo. And soon after, it became a major success story. As Sinek rightfully put it, “people don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it”

That is so true. I fell in love with the book (ok not so much the author) and it is now a favourite of mine. Not gonna be revealing too much details cause i would strongly urge you to read through the initial few pages and you would know why this book has become my no 1 reference. 

I would highly recommend you to get the book to own as a guide when you have lost that sense of purpose. Always start with WHY, and success will come. 

How Toastmaster helps you to become better speaker

It takes courage to stand in front of people and deliver a speech. Even nerve-wrecking is getting on that dreadful elevator ride with the big boss as you are not able to sustain a conversation besides a simple greeting.

Whether one aims to give a convincing presentation at the next management seating or even secretly planted hopes to be a stand-up comedian one day, good skills in communication is necessary. In order for one to become good at public speaking, one must be able to practice the art of speaking in a safe environment where mistakes are welcome for learning purposes. This was the sole intention that PESONA Toastmasters Club was established by Technical Global (previously PCSB Development Division) in 2008.

The club aimed at enhancing public speaking skills by providing a supportive and informal atmosphere where members can practice speaking to different crowds on a variety of subjects. Currently, the Toastmaster International fraternity spreads out globally in 122 countries with 292,000 members in 14,350 clubs.

There are 3 main parts to a toastmaster meeting – 1) Table Topic session, where members can practise their “Thinking and Speaking extemporaneously on their feet” skills, 2) Prepared speech session, where members will be delivering speeches based on the manuals provided by the Toastmaster International, and 3) Evaluation session, where members will be given recommendation to further improve their speaking ability.

PESONA Toastmaster club has in the past hosted many inspirational session with many local and International speakers for the benefit of PETRONAS staff, ie. Stephen Fernando, Malaysian champion in Public Speaking and Darren Lacroix, World Champion in Public Speaking. Both events were attended by more than 150 staffs from all over PETRONAS.

One particular member, Rosidah Hardiani is a proud member of the club and manage to carry the Toastmaster banner and posed with it atop the Mount Kinabalu. Her steely resolve in conquering the peak was clearly as strong as her unspoken dedication to self-improvement in Toastmasters. According to her, “Toastmasters helps me to unleash my potential: a journey to elevate my communication & leadership skills, helping others, and to be more myself”

Guests are welcomed to join club meetings every first and third Thursday of every month. For further information about toastmaster, please don’t hesitate to contact its President Suhana Sidik or the Vice President of Public Relation, Hanan Othman to know more about the Toastmasters and what we can do for you in terms of developing effective and efficient public speaking skills.

Hope to see you at our next meeting.

Raya time with Mr Darcy, Pride and Prejudice

It is the 3rd day of Raya and i am stuck at home. Not because i feel very anti-social (well not today), but because i left my car keys in hubby's car and he has gone to work. Spent the day uploading photos on facebook and finally hang those frames we received when we got married over 2 years ago. Overall it has been a very productive day indeed. Apparently there are many things that you can do when you are at home alone.

One of the many things i like to do at home is catch some good old movies. It does cheer up me A LOT, especially when i am down or in need of good tender loving care. Sometimes you get carried away thinking about that perfect life that only happens in movies. No complains here though cause there is no such thing as perfect, but a girl can always dream aight.

Have you watched Pride and Prejudice? Mr Darcy captured me from the very moment he walked into the ballroom all arrogant-looking. Now you wonder why is it that woman always seem to be attracted to these bad boys. Must have been the mysterious look they give which send shivers down our spine and for us to simply want to know more about them.

Mr Darcy turns out to be a romantic. And even though he doesn't speak much, his words from the very beginning was magical. Just like Jerry Maguire, he captured my heart in many different ways.

And here's my favourite moment in the movie, and the ones i keep on rewinding over and over again, just to hear Mr Darcy's trembling voice to utter those words of affection. Surely it was magical.

Mr Darcy:

You must know. Surely you must know it was all for you.

.....You spoke with my aunt last night and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before.

If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once.

My affections and wishes have not changed. But one word from you will silence me forever.
lf, however, your feelings have changed......I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you.

I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Now, try to give that boy a second chance. He might just be the love of your life. 

Malaysian in the Algerian Hostage Crisis - will i be bold?

Both the Malaysian missing in the Algerian hostage crisis have been confirmed dead. A disappointing news, after a week full of agonising wait anticipating good news. 

Just to recall what happened: On 16-Jan, a group of about 30 militants who has inside intelligence of a 15-hectare site in Amenas gas plant in Algeria, ambushed and took hostage around 700 Algerians and 130 foreign workers at the plant owned by BP. 

The foreigners had their hands tied with rubber cable-ties and mouths taped. Some were not so lucky - they were shot to death. Some hid and waited until they had the opportunity to make the run. None believe that they could have survived this. 

It was later after more than 4 days siege, the Algerian prime minister announced that at least 38 civilians had been killed. Of that, we learnt that the death toll includes 2 Malaysian, Tan Ping Wee and Chong Chung Ngen. 

I followed the news with great interest, mainly because i work in the Industry. Though never had the chance to work overseas and not able to relate to the safety and security of those working there, i could easily feel the pain of anticipation.. waiting for good news. And when there was no glimpse of hope it made me think, is it a worthy sacrifice if i have the opportunity to work in such environment.

Everyone knows of Iran, Ethiopia, Sudan or Iraq's political situation. It's where my company is heavily invested in. You would even recall the Somali pirates attack on MISC tankers, and where ransom had to be paid. 

Is it worth the sacrifice? What will i do if i was given the same opportunity, and when my career might be on the line? How far would company go to reap profit if security of their staff could not be guaranteed? Should Petronas only focus on it's own backyard, or in a more matured emerging economies so that we will not be worried about putting extra bodyguards for its staff?

It's sad really. A tough week. 

Sincere Apology ... or not?

Is there such thing as sincere apology nowadays?

When Armstrong went live in Oprah to talk publicly about his drug use, was he sincere or trying to raise sympathy. I mean what does he has to lose?

When Pete Teo apologize, was he sincere? The more i read about it, the more sceptical i become. Quran-thumping, Bible-thumping, what are the difference. Its a group of aggressive people who strongly follows the teaching. Not that i am being less of a Muslim, but really, was his comments really taken out of context? I know for a fact that his apology was not.. hmm so sincere?

And what about Sharifah Zohra, with her most arrogance apology in a press statement she released a few days ago - not even to Bawani, instead it was directed to her employer and UUM, the event organiser. And you are sorry because you felt that the whole big mess was politically motivated?

Does people even practice sincerity anymore in this modern world? Has the meaning of apology (if not coerce to do so) has no more place in this society?

How to Be a Professional Emcee

Ever wanted to brush up your emceeing skill? Wanting to improve your speaking ability in front of public?

Still not too late to purchase tickets. Workshop is open for both toastmasters and non-toastmasters. Cheapest workshop you can find. 

Please contact me suhanasidik@gmail.com to purchase your tickets.

Lesson Learnt: the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Learn From Noah's Ark

1. Don't miss the boat.

2. Remember that we are all in the same boat!

3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark..

4. Stay fit; when you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

5. Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

8. Speed isn't always an advantage; the snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9. When you're stressed, float awhile..

10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

11. No matter the storm, when with peace and tranquillity, there's always a rainbow waiting